Ranger Battalion (2/75) I reached second battalion out in Washington state in September 2013. This was after basic training, infantry AIT, airborne school & RASP (Ranger Selection) I was a proud little Ranger. In battalion I got to deploy to Afghanistan and spend some time in Oman. I got to see Kuwait & Germany. I got to travel all over the United States for various training events. This was when I was running and gunning and having a great time in the army. I got to jump out of all sorts of military aircraft, fast rope out of rotor aircraft & train on more weapon systems than you can imagine. I loved all of the intense training (physical & mental) while in special operations. It was an incredible experience and I would not be the man that I am today without everything I learned. Unfortunately, I was involved in a car accident and I fractured a vertebrae in my neck causing nerve damage in my arm. Because of this I was removed from airborne status indefinitely and ...

  To start this one off, we’re going to have to take it all the way back to 2015. I had just started talking to this girl from back home. She was beautiful and we had incredible conversation. I remember her birthday was approaching and I wanted to get her something but I wanted to keep it modest because we weren’t officially dating yet. I ordered her some flowers to be delivered. I had no idea that her favorite flower was a Gerber Daisy. Luck of the draw I guess.  The next 2 1/2 years would be full of trips to Washington for her and trips back home to New Hampshire for me. Our weekends consisted of trying to fit in a Sunday night FaceTime date while we went through the trials of a long-distance relationship. I knew this girl was the one. On one of her trips to Washington state we thought we would make a fun game of it and go look at engagement rings. In reality I was using this to get her ring size but she had no idea. We both talked about the future and what it would hold. We...

Well I just had the best week of my life! A week full of love, faith and commitment. I got to marry the love of my life and what an experience it was! However, I will do a separate, more in depth post about the burning love that I have for my WIFE! This post will be about something different. A huge insecurity that I had going up to the wedding was based around something stupid. You probably notice that I rarely wear a suit or dress clothes. More than often you will find me in sweatpants and a hoodie or a baggy comfortable shirt. Adaptive jeans have been a great find & truthfully, even jeans are dressy for me now. Body dysmorphia is huge. Leading up to the wedding I was getting very anxious about how I was going to look in my suit. Sitting is a hard look to rock. I had a few different meetings set up at Men’s Wearhouse to get the perfect look to match my beautiful bride, but it was a gut punch realizing how difficult it was to get dressed up now. Nostalgia came and went once the su...

  Time is such a strange concept. Just a unit of measurement while we spin around a giant flaming ball of gas. Sometimes I wish more than anything it would speed up and sometimes I wish more than anything that it would slow down. But somehow it keeps on flying. I will preface this post by saying how blessed & fortunate I have been with my family. I haven't been witness to much of it within the last few years but my grandpa is currently battling dementia. I haven't been able to expose myself to it to see him because I don't want to overwhelm him but it really makes me reminisce and think about life. I've been trying to dig up pictures of my grandpa and I together and I realized something... I only have one. I realized the same thing when I got out of the Army and it is sad as hell. If you document a bunch in the military, or take selfies and "cool guy pics" you almost get labeled, so like a lot of other guys, I never did it. I wish more than anything that I...

2017 - Sad, angry, bitter & exhausted... I rolled out of my hospital room & into the office of behavioral health at the VA. I had finally capitalized on the open invitation from my care team. I needed help.  I kept apologizing to her. “I wasn’t worth all of this investment”. “You’re a fucking Ranger, man up”. This was replaying in my mind while I reclined my wheelchair during my first session. We agreed on guided meditation... baby steps. I fell asleep in 30 seconds... my hour long session was over and she gently woke me up. I started sobbing. This was the best sleep I’d had in months. We continued to meet weekly in various areas of the hospital. My favorite was the Fisher House Foundation’s garden. I felt like a semi truck had been lifted off of my chest. I didn’t realize the weight I was carrying.  I never looked back... and with my mental strength came my physical strength. I started crushing physical therapy & kicked all of my pain meds.  I started to expe...

Why does finding accessible lodging need to be such a challenge? Hotel stays for me have been really hit or miss since my injury. Either the rooms are perfect or are an absolute nightmare. Most stays are somewhere in the middle. Thick carpet feels like quick sand for my front wheels. It’s exhausting to maneuver even a few feet when it feels like the floor is trying to pull me down. Transferring to & from the bed is a completely separate issue. Most hotels, cabins, motels etc. have beds with frames that go all the way to floor. These bed frames prevent my lift from getting me safely over the bed to drop me in. And if I wasn’t going to use my portable lift and transfer instead with a slide board, most hotel beds are taller than my wheelchair, meaning a sketchy uphill transfer.   The “tried and true” 2-man transfer works most times with friends and family but obviously not when it’s just Kass & I. Plus who wants to rely on other people to get you in and out? Don’t get me wrong...

Madigan Army Hospital, one of the oldest and largest hospital systems in the military sits proudly inside the gates of JBLM (Joint Base Lewis-McChord). This place evokes a lot of different emotions for me. I spent 4 and a half years on Fort Lewis in Washington, probably driving by Madigan ten thousand times. There were only three occasions where I spent any time in there though. Each occasion completely different and completely profound.  1.  In the military you tend to make really strong friendships when you’re going through “the suck” together. That was definitely the case for someone that I would consider my first close Army friend. Both of us 19, and very naïve but full of potential. We had just gone through Ranger Selection together and were at the current highs of our lives. We dawned our tan berets, and left Georgia for 2/75 in Washington. Then we got separated… and he started making dumb decisions. I had to step away from the friendship one night after he got wasted an...

I had some trouble sleeping last night so I got to thinking… no crazy artwork today, just some reflecting… Soon after I was shot, my hometown of Hudson NH started a fundraising campaign called “Joshua Strong”. I remember coming out of my coma to my mom showing me these pictures of the girls basketball team wearing the fundraising t-shirts and I broke down crying. Who was I to deserve this? Those shirts made their way all through out the country and my dad showed me every single picture. Humbled doesn’t even begin to describe it…  In my reflecting it hit me, these ladies are all now the same age that I was when I was shot. The current seniors at the school were in the 7th grade when I was injured with absolutely no idea who I even am. Time is a crazy thing but every time I look back on these pictures I am reminded about my small New England town rallying around me from across the country. 5 years later these pictures still hit me. What a beautiful reminder of kindness & support....

Sheesh, half a decade! Honestly the winter months become sort of a fog for me. I love the holidays and the family time but there’s always that lingering fog. Three of my Army friends were killed throughout these months; one on November, one in December, and another one in January. That brings us to February… the month that my life changed forever. My friends would be so disappointed if I let their deaths cloud any aspect of my life but sometimes it’s hard. Part of why I push myself so hard in my wheelchair is because I know that they would, given the chance.  As I add more and more time under my belt, it gets harder to remember the initial concerns and struggles that I had immediately after becoming paralyzed. Even more so with any “struggles” that I had before my spinal cord injury. I suppose that’s only natural with time but rereading old blog posts and reflecting on life usually snaps me back. I shouldn’t be here… my life in general is an anomaly. It is a miracle, sure; but it i...

We’ve all been there. Joining the sweatsuit mafia… especially during Covid lockdown, where pants are always optional.  Being paralyzed and sitting constantly causes a lot of strain on my skin. Keeping my bum healthy has been a main priority since day one in the hospital. I don’t talk about it often but I actually developed a pressure sore on my tailbone when I was hospitalized in 2017 because doctors and nurses had to choose how much I could move side to side while I was hooked up to the ventilator. When they told me that I had a wound developing I didn’t think much of it at the time because it seemed so minimal compared to… ya know, fighting paralysis, pneumonia, and everything in between. This “wound” actually became the bane of my existence for well over a year. So much so that I actually had a surgery done and went on bed rest for months. Skin breakdown is one of the biggest threats to anyone with a spinal cord injury. And what is constantly touching your skin?… Clothing! Befor...

The number 4 is such a lame number. Does this number have any meaning to you? As a teenager it represented the number of years I counted up to while in high school. As a soldier it represented my annual countdown on my Army contract. Now it represents my entire existence. I remember it like it was yesterday. The urology doctor leaning over my bed writing something on the patient whiteboard right behind my head. I couldn’t turn my head to see what he was writing. It wasn’t until I got up into my loaner wheelchair the next morning that I could read my updated information. “Bladder management: intermittent catheterization Q-4”. I asked my nurse what the Q4 meant. She told me that it means every 4 hours. Sweet, I have to pee on a schedule. Paralyzed organs suck! My bladder is resilient though and to be honest, I’m pretty proud of that stretchy little guy. Part of my care is maintaining my bladder. I’m at a point now where I can tell when Mother Nature is calling but that wasn’t always the ...

 There are two quotes that you hear constantly with Spinal Cord Injury… “It’s a marathon, not a sprint” & “no news is good news” Every September is my annual SCI check up at the VA Clinic. It’s just a day full of appointments to track any health changes. It starts with blood work & labs. A Uro-Dynamic Study of my bladder and kidney pressures. An ultrasound of the same organs. And re evaluation of the ASIA exam to check for sensation and functional changes. The end result of the day is usually, “congrats you’re still healthy and doing well! See ya next year!” Don’t get me wrong, I enjoy maintaining my health (which is no easy feat) but I’m trying to thrive! Kass and I just kind of expect to suffer through the day and head back to the house after the appointments. Well, something happened yesterday which was a pretty good confidence booster. After my reevaluation it was determined that I am functioning around the a C5 - C6 level which is almost an entire vertebrae below my di...

 Raise your hand if you’ve ever overheated…  Okay, now drink some water you hot mess. My motto in the Army on the weekends was always “hydrate with beer”. Well, it’s time to hold myself accountable… last Sunday I was almost a heat casualty. I should know better. I was trained to recognize the signs of heat exhaustion. That judgment call was tough to make after a few beers in the Samuel Adams Deck at Fenway Park. Last Sunday, Kass and I met a few friends in Boston for a Red Sox game. It was a 1PM game and the handicap seating in the upper deck was an awesome view of the field. On the drive there I realized that I was ill prepared for a day of drinking but ignored the fact that I hadn’t had anything to eat or drink up until that point. I started feeling my blood pressure drop on the drive to Boston which is fairly common when you’re in a wheelchair. Lack of muscle tone makes it harder for blood to circulate. I worked through that fine but I quickly realized that heat exhaustion ...

Part 1: History Repeating This quadriplegics thoughts about Afghanistan 1. The Taliban retaking the country is a travesty 2. This happening was predictable but is tragic nonetheless. 3. I enjoyed my small piece in helping with training the Afghan Army & it is sad to see them losing the fight on their own. 4. Afghanistan is a mess of a country & probably always will be. 5. The handoff of the country was not done correctly, but how exactly would you leave a country after 20 years? I personally have mixed emotions. I’ve made close friendships with many men and women that have lost limbs over there. Friends who have been blown up by cowardly used IEDs. Friends that have been shot in the head and survived. Friends and inspirations who were shot 10+ times and motivate me daily from their wheelchair. Friends that have been killed. Blood spilt on foreign soil. Soil that is now reclaimed by the fuckers plaguing their own country. That makes me mad. At the same point, I’m glad that the b...

When did life get so crazy? Honestly. I feel like life has become nothing but the hustle & bustle. It’s weird feeling this way after a stagnant day of artwork in my wheelchair. In the comfort of my own home. Next to my sleeping dog and fiancé. But here we are, looking back to what strangely feels like a simpler time. I found some “old” pictures of me and my brothers and cousins in NY after a surprise birthday get together for my grandma. We took this picture together after or before the dinner, not exactly sure when. All I know is that it’s a fond memory but it’s pretty tough to look at. Two of my cousins in that photo are together up in Heaven, God Bless them. I’m now wheeling around in a wheelchair. Some days it just hits me differently, today being one of those times… I was a junior in high school in that photo. Not a care in the world, just living in the moment with my family. You think I was thinking, “hey dude, enjoy this embrace because this may be the last time you get to h...

I feel like every month there is a new hashtag on social media. A new calendar of dedicated themes. One that is currently going around in the disability community is #disabilitypridemonth . Seems strange to me, especially following huge celebrations & displays like pride month for the LGBTQ community. I’ll admit that I think you should rock the shit out of whatever your situation is but disability pride is an interesting one. Am I proud to be a quadriplegic? Absolutely not. I wouldn’t wish this disability on my worst enemy. That doesn’t mean that I don’t carry myself with pride in all aspects of life. I try to own quadriplegia & make the most out of every day.  I am extremely proud, however, to represent things inside of the disability community. Artwork, creative writing, motivation, gaming, being a good friend; son, uncle, human being, whatever. Those are things that I’m proud of. But paralysis specifically? That’s a big nope. I get anxious and embarrassed now. Stressed o...

  Life Has Been Rolling  & it is a beautiful thing. I know that it’s been a little while since I’ve updated my Life Keeps Rolling community inside the actual blog website. Most of my content has come in the form of Instagram posts and I’ve ventured away from Facebook a bit. I’ve always gotten way fewer interactions there anyway. I actually went through a bit of a rebranding which was a lot of fun. I’ve found my passion in art and it has been incredible. I opened up my art account “Limp Wrist Art” and have been enjoying running my merchandise shop as well as creating art for others. I truly get a lot of joy out of making commissions and I’ve been using the money raised for little philanthropy projects. Check out my links but more specifically my art account for random illustrations! I try to post something daily!  As far as life goes, this year has been huge! During the peak of COVID, Kass and I started the hunt for our forever home and we found it in Litchfield NH. Ma...

I wish that I could say that this post has nothing to do with the ever so present Coronavirus but unfortunately it does. More specifically, I want to write about my experiences on a ventilator. If we thought about each ventilator as a human life and not some low balled statistic we hear almost daily on the news then maybe more people would take this pandemic seriously. If there is one thing that I can attest to, it is that being on a vent is an absolute nightmare. I feel like when people hear about strangers getting the coronavirus and being placed on a ventilator or respirator to survive, they don’t really understand what that whole situation looks like. It’s a pretty morbid thought process but most people assume things like this are a survival of the fittest scenario. You hear all about the nursing homes being ravished, but I think people need to understand the true horror of what can happen with a respiratory complication.  I was 23 years old. I could run half marathons and swim...