Go Go Go

When did life get so crazy? Honestly. I feel like life has become nothing but the hustle & bustle. It’s weird feeling this way after a stagnant day of artwork in my wheelchair. In the comfort of my own home. Next to my sleeping dog and fiancé. But here we are, looking back to what strangely feels like a simpler time.

I found some “old” pictures of me and my brothers and cousins in NY after a surprise birthday get together for my grandma. We took this picture together after or before the dinner, not exactly sure when. All I know is that it’s a fond memory but it’s pretty tough to look at.

Two of my cousins in that photo are together up in Heaven, God Bless them. I’m now wheeling around in a wheelchair. Some days it just hits me differently, today being one of those times… I was a junior in high school in that photo. Not a care in the world, just living in the moment with my family. You think I was thinking, “hey dude, enjoy this embrace because this may be the last time you get to hold your cousin”? Nope. I was too busy thinking about the best ways to hide my report card from my parents and wondering when I’d get chest hair. That was only ten years ago but shit it feels SO much longer than that. 

I guess that’s what I’ve been preaching, life keeps rolling and all… but does it ever slow down? What I would give to go back and re-live these moments. But that’s the thing… I did live them. 

I was there. I was present. I was happy and glad to be there and only there. THAT is why this memory brings up emotions. It was a good day with even better company. 

I love my cousins and my family dearly and I’ve always shown that. I look back at this memory and I am so beyond thankful to have had it. That I got to pick up Jack like a good older cousin. Give my cousin Ben a hug after dinner. Just exist in the moment. 

Nostalgia will come and it will go, just like it always does. I’m sure that one day when I’m old, I’ll look back at pictures of me now, with nostalgic eyes and think, “wow, what a life…”. Because that’s life. That’s why I try to make every day THE day. So I can look back at any given moment of my life and think damn, that was a good day.

God Bless!





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