How often do you just stop and take life in? It can get pretty crazy. People passing people. Work, school, gym, family. Chaos. I fell into the cycle and I still find myself stuck there sometimes. It wasn’t until my life got to it’s craziest that I realized the importance of taking everything in. It wasn’t until I lost the use of my hands that I realized how much we use them. It wasn’t until I lost the strength in my diagram that I realized how incredible a deep, chest expanding, lung opening breath felt after going on a long run. It wasn’t until I lost strength in my vocal cords that I realized how fulfilling it felt to nail a high note in my truck while blasting my music driving to work. The ability to jump right out of bed and start my day. The feeling of grass on my bare feet or sand between my toes. The simplicity of dropping a gear and ripping through a turn on my motorcycle. What it feels like to have nice hot shower water hit your whole body. The need to not have to worry about ...

Hello  everyone!  I am Josh's mom, Maria and I  will be sharing my perspective on how Josh's injury has affected my life.  I have to admit, it seems a bit strange to  be talking about it.  So much of what I've endured over the last two years seems  insignificant  in comparison to what Josh has been handed.   My hope is that by sharing my story, other mothers  going through this  will  be  validated  in their feelings. February 11 th , 2017 started out as any other day.  It was a Saturday, so I got to sleep in and spend a leisurely day with my husband ,  Matt. We met up with our friends, Spyros and Angela,  for dinner at our favorite restaurant. It was just after we ordered dinner that Matt got  the phone call that no parent ever wants to get.  “Josh was shot" are the only words I remember. How I got from the restaurant to my home is a blur.  It was the beginning of my journey. Those early...

This Friday (February 22) I will be sharing my mom‘s point of view on my injury. It is only fitting that I post about how I am trying to reclaim my independence from paralysis. This is no easy feat but for the last few months my mom has been helping me adapt everyday equipment so I am capable of doing more on my own.  One of the hardest hurdles for me to get over was my loss of independence. Paralysis really robs you of a lot of the stuff you can do for yourself. Stuff that normally I would’ve taken for granted is now more time consuming and daunting. A lot of simple things take me a while now so it makes sense to receive help but it does get frustrating. I have very mixed emotions about it because some days I will be so determined to do something simple for myself and get mad at Kass for not helping if I struggle for too long, but other days Kass will help me without me asking and I’ll get mad that she didn’t let me struggle with it. It is a huge catch 22 and it is often very unfa...

2 years.  2 years ago my definition of grit and resiliency changed forever. 2 years ago my understanding on life changed forever.  February 11th. Do I loathe it? Do I celebrate it? This experience has been chaotic yet blissful. It has been anguishing yet reassuring. It has been unbelievably frustrating and unbelievably triumphing. It has been burdensome and freeing. So the answer is, well... more of a non-answer. I hate what I have had to endure, but I celebrate what I have become.  Mike Tyson said it best. “Everyone has a plan, until they get punched in the face.” Well, the same can be said for getting shot through the throat (although I would much prefer a black eye or a broken nose). My whole world was turned upside down on February 11th, 2017. Joshua Keller died that evening. Literally and figuratively. My heart stopped twice and every moment since dying has been me maintaining aspects from the old me and me redefining my new life. Redefining a life which unfortunatel...

Most of you know that I just closed a huge chapter of my life. I am officially a veteran. The army has been my life for the past six years. Even since starting my life in a wheelchair, I’ve still been slaving away in the army. No matter how much I bitched and moaned about some of the typical government / military BS, I was and am still proud to have served. You just wouldn’t be a true enlisted soldier if you weren’t a little salty. So this begs the question, what’s next for me?  Well first I have to reshape my goals. Before I was shot, I had humble and realistic goals. I was going to go to a tech college to get certified as a diesel mechanic and work back home in NH. The plan was in full motion as I crept my way out of the grip of Uncle Sam. I’m sure you’ve heard the saying “the best laid plans of mice and men”. Here’s a new one for you... “bullet, meet spine”.  At first I thought “okay, just give it a few weeks and my body will wake up. You’ll be back on your motorcycle and b...

First, I want to thank Josh for sharing this platform with me. I don’t typically shy away from talking to large groups but realizing 14,000 + people have visited this page makes me hope I can meet the standards Josh has set. This is Josh’s dad, Matt and I want to take this opportunity to talk about what changed for me on February 11, 2017. It was 6:04 pm ,   Maria and I had just gotten our food at one of our favorite restaurants (T-Bones). We were with some friends (they’re really more like family) when my phone rang. I saw it was Zach and I was just about to “bitch button” him and send a text saying we were eating and I’d call back. I thought about that for a second and realized I had not spoken to him for a   while because he was just back from Afghanistan . S o I decided I would answer it so I could hear his voice and then tell him I’d call him back. I thank God for a lot of things in my life and answering that call is one of them. My world was rocked with just the words “D...

Building Dreams for Marines video   Take a minute to watch a quick YouTube video created by an extremely generous organization Building Dreams for Marines. BDFM is one of many in the long list of people and community that helped me and my family through an overwhelming situation.  I was a soldier in the Army. I tell you this because I lived off of a paycheck that was significantly lower than minimum wage if you don’t include the benefits like food, housing and the college GI Bill. Now, I’m not complaining. I understood that fact well before joining. I didn’t serve for the money. For me it was duty to Country and ultimately for the experience. I only tell you this to explain that I was never a man of wealth. Most of my money foolishly went into keeping my truck and motorcycle running. It was an expensive but also therapeutic and fun hobby. I loved tinkering around with engines and learning the ins and outs of my Ford and my Harley. The grease and dirt was a badge of honor for m...

Part of being confirmed in the Catholic Church is taking preparatory religious classes. One of these classes was Theology of the Body. When I was 16, taking this class was more of a check in the box so that I could get confirmed and get back to baseball after school. In hindsight, I was sining but I did actually learn a good bit from everything. Of course, I have a much more profound respect for the human body now. In theology of the body we were continuously told “your body is a temple”. I never really understood it... until I was forced to. I grew up as a skinny, lanky kid. I had an athletic build and a stupidly fast metabolism. I had a decent respect for myself already. Throughout high school I played sports and stayed physical but it wasn’t until I went out on my own that I knew that I really needed to maintain and improve myself. I entered the military at a whopping 140 lbs. I had just turned 19 and I was pretty much a clean slate. I thought that Army Basic Training was an absolut...