Alive-versary Year 3

The dreaded date has once again arrived. February11th. Technically it’s tomorrow. Will it ever becomes just another day? That’s certainly been the goal. But I don’t know if that’s ever going to be possible. It will always be the day that I died. Do I hate it or celebrate it as the day that I persevered above death? I got my chance to look that bitch in the face and tell it to piss off. Maybe I should just ignore it? After all, 3 years is a long time. My scars are fading and my life is improving almost daily. There’s true beauty in the struggle and I’ve been grinding daily since February 11th, 2017. I guess that only time will tell... but it certainly feels like a fog is in the air every year around this day. 

However, all of this isn’t even my point for this blog post. Today, I want to focus on how quickly life can change and how delicate it actually is. 

February 10th, 2017. Just another Friday. I woke up to my alarm on my $10 Walmart watch. It was 4:45 am so I hit snooze. Then my 5:00 alarm went off. Time for the big gun... my phone alarm placed across the room so I would have to get up to shut it off. 5:15 am. I grabbed my phone and called Kass to say good morning and let her know I was alive so she wouldn’t need to call me to make sure I made it to work on time (this actually happened frequently). I threw on sweatpants and a sweatshirt, filled my thermos with coffee and grabbed my duffle bag with my uniforms for the day. I walked out to my truck just to see that it was covered in ice. Time to panic. Blast the defrosters and scrape the windshield like a maniac. Finally, it thawed enough to where I could safely drive. I jumped on the highway and hauled ass to make it to the base gate. Dead stop traffic. Probably a hundred people doing exactly what I did... slept in and are panicking. I pulled out my phone and texted my squad leader that I was going to be late to being early. You see, in the military, if you’re on time then you’re late. If we have a formation at 0630, then everyone needs to be outside and formed up by 0615 which means getting there at 0545 to change and wait. 

I booked it from the parking lot to the company area. I got changed into my PT uniform and jumped into formation with the rest of my platoon. Phew! I managed to pull off another sneaky entrance. We saluted the raising of the flag while battalion played a recording of the bugle call “Reveille”. The first sergeant and the commander gave out daily tasks to the platoon sergeants who then gave out their tasks to everyone in their respective platoons. Then we broke into squads and began our physical training. 

After PT, I skipped breakfast and went back to my barracks room to shower and take a nap before having to report back to the company. I woke up, got changed into my duty uniform, and made my way to the platoon sergeant and platoon leader’s office. My platoon sergeant gave me a modified packing list for our upcoming trip to Yakima training center. I was going to be taking the bare minimum because I was in the middle of turning in my gear to get out of the army. I was excited because this was going to be my last field problem before getting out and returning home to live my life as a civilian again. I only had two months left. 

I went back to my room and laid out all of my equipment that I would be turning in, that way when I got back from Yakima, it would be a smooth transition. I left my room and walked to the motor pool to shoot the shit with some of my buddies. I was excited because we had been making plans for my friend’s 21st birthday (love you Sean)  and we were going to go into the city for the weekend when we got back. I had some time to kill so we went back to the barracks room and messed around on my friends Xbox. After that, we all drove back to the company area together in my truck and finished our mundane Friday tasks. We went to the gym to lift weights and play a few games of pickup basketball before getting called back to the company to clean our designated common areas. We mopped the floors and picked up all the trash around our platoon area. Finally, it was time for our company safety brief for the weekend. We formed up again and the company first sergeant came down and told us the same thing we heard every Friday. “Don’t drink and drive. Be safe if you’re out. Don’t marry a stripper. Stay within a 150 mile radius of the base. If you get into a fight, yell Semper Fi and run away.” 

Finally, it was time for release. The workday was over and it was time to enjoy the weekend. I got changed into my civilian clothes and drove off to my friends house to give him and his wife a case of Gatorade that the company was trying to get rid of. I stopped at a Mexican restaurant right off base to get a burrito for dinner. I drove back to my brothers apartment, and ate my burrito while watching Netflix. I decided to go to the gym because I felt like a slob after my burrito so I walked down to the apartment gym and worked out for a little bit. I decided to take it easy that night and just stay in and relax. I don’t remember doing anything very eventful that night and I often think about what a waste it had been. That I spent my last night with a working body essentially doing what I do now in my wheelchair.

I had no idea that that day would be my last day running around. That those last few games of pick up basketball would be my last days rushing in for a layup or shooting a three pointer. That the morning salute would be my last time saluting the flag with a crisp, open right hand, standing proudly in my uniform. That my rush into work in my truck would be my last time driving through those gates onto base. That I would never get the chance to say bye to a lot of friends that I saw that day. That every stupid tiny worry or frustration that I had at the time would be nothing compared to the struggles to come.

That next day would be the day that changed my life forever and I simply had no idea. Just blissfully unaware of what was coming my way. That Friday was just another day. I had no idea that it would be the last day I would have a healthy body, full of future aspirations and goals. It is a harsh reminder of the reality of life. No one truly knows when their last day will be and what it will look like. It is important to take advantage of every day that you have. I had to learn that the hard way, but luckily for me, God had other plans.

Jeremiah 29:11 - 

“For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future”

God Bless!