Redefining Life

Life is truly a mystery. It has it’s ups and downs and highs and lows. Some believe it is predestined and some believe in karma. If you give good then you should get good back. All that I know for sure is that life can change in the blink of an eye. I went from walking, talking and breathing with my grand scheme of a simple life and an honest living to being unemployed while making a living from disability funds from my wheelchair. I went from crawling under my truck to change my oil and cranking on my Harley to keep that death-trap rolling to learning how to put on a splint and feed myself. In a fraction of a second, everything that I had done in 23 short years of living went up in smoke and with it went most of my ambitions. What do I do now? A quote comes to mind “Calm seas never made good sailors”. 

I have experienced more in these two years since my injury than I have in my prior 23 years. My injury has opened up my mind in so many different ways. I won’t compare my injury to anything that I experienced physically through my childhood and time spent in the military, but this injury has made me so mentally strong. I truly believe that mental health is important and without the tests and trials that came with becoming paralyzed, I never would have learned that I had the mental prowess to get over these unimaginable feats. When I realized how grave my situation was, my first thought was that it was my unbecoming. That my life didn’t hold the same value that it had before. Somehow I was less because I was now crippled. That my life was over.

This was all just a turning point in my life. Some people hit the midlife crisis in their later years. Well my time for rediscovery came at 23. I quickly realized that I am physically unable to lay around and sulk. I am also unable to not have future goals. They may not be achievable (yet) but goal-setting keeps me focused and driven. It also helps me to try and redefine my life. I will always be nostalgic for what I had prior to becoming paralyzed and I will always think about what could have been, but for the sake of my mental health I had to move on. This is no easy feat, believe me. In the back of my head, I will always want to have my old goals and I truly believe that is important as well. I will always be able to take a glimpse at a Harley and tell you the model, motor size and all of the bells and whistles that the owner threw into it. I will always be able to listen to a beat up car on the highway and tell you that it needs a new belt or smell that it’s burning rich fuel or oil. Are these useless skills now? Eh, probably. Keeping them on the back burner is good because it helps me keep goals from before my injury. But I need to focus on the tasks at hand. My new life.

I feel like many veterans can relate to this. Feeling like your military experience was where you peaked. Finding a new purpose as a civilian. Redefining life. Well I don’t think that I peaked at my healthy 23 just like you didn’t peak when you were jumping out of planes and deploying overseas. I realize that I will probably never do a lot of things that I did in the military and in my past life before becoming injured but that doesn’t mean that I peaked there. I refuse to let my past highlight my life. As long as I have days ahead of me then I have opportunities to make the next day the highlight of my life. The past is just a great thing that is in the rear view mirror now. Well my plan is to continue driving forward. 

So how exactly do I redefine life? Well shit, most of the time I have no clue. Like I said, life is a mystery and you can never truly plan it out. What I can tell you is that I certainly plan on living a life of purpose. I want to be the best version of myself everyday. I want to set goals and crush them. I want to dive deeper with my faith. I want to continue to work on my blog and motivate others. I am constantly looking for that next niche of mine. Not to replace my past life but to find a healthy means of living my life for me. I know that my next breakthrough is right around the corner, but for now I will continue the good fight. 

God Bless.