Assumptions

Today you get to watch me attempt to address my list of frustrations and annoyances through humor. First I will start with strangers and the things that they do. Next week will be about my physical changes and annoyances so stay tuned. 

I’ll admit that I would probably be guilty of some of the things I am about to list if I wasn’t currently living with paralysis. Ignorance is bliss so sorry ahead of time if I am about to ruin your bliss by bringing attention to the ignorance.

Wheelchair etiquette. Never assume that because someone is in a wheelchair that they cannot talk. I try to pride myself in looking as “normal” as I can from my seat-on-wheels but that somehow doesn’t stop the occasional waiter from talking slowly to me. Ignoring me and going straight to asking whoever I’m eating with what my order will be is really cool too. This is usually the point where the tip goes “bye-bye” because guess who’s paying... wheelz mcgee over here.

I try to give people the benefit of the doubt, but one thing that is very difficult to respond to is when someone says “I hope you feel better”. I get this more often than you would think and it is difficult because the person saying it doesn’t know any of my backstory. I don’t have a head cold Karen, I got shot in the throat...  I know that they mean well but it still gets me sometimes. My usual response is “well shit, I hope that I feel better too”. People also tell me in passing “God bless”. I’m all for it. I end each post with that exact phrase. It’s just hard to move past your injury if people are constantly reminding you how messed up you are. I get that unfortunate cicircumstances have put me in this chair but I want people to see me as me and not as the 25-year-old in the wheelchair. 

Encouragement is always great, right? Sometimes people really like praise. It feels great when you do something right and people identify it. All I ask is that people stop clapping at me when I do something easy. The praise is great and I understand that people are just trying to offer support but it is a little degrading sometimes. This is for strangers for the most part by the way. I love when family and friends support me like that. What bothers me is the assumptions from strangers that they need to clap if I do something like put a straw in my water or rotate my plate of food. If I sink a 3-pointer then hell yeah clap away but if I fit my chair under the table and you clap then chances are I’m already imagining crushing your toes. 

I’ve made a few posts already about accessibility. It is always going to be an issue. One huge annoyance that I have is getting to a venue, restaurant, hotel, veterinary building etc. and my wheelchair gets caught or doesn’t fit. Time for a quick history lesson. Back in 1990, President George Bush signed a civil rights act called the ADA (Americans with Disabilities Act). It spearheaded equal rights for people with disabilities and created laws about wheelchair users getting into buildings. Well apparently New England didn’t get the memo. When I get stuck somewhere, staff usually throw out the offer to “pick up my chair and bring me in”. My response is usually no although there’s been a few circumstances where I had to swallow my pride. What people don’t realize is that my wheelchair weighs around 440 pounds. Usually I’m saying no to save their backs (so they won’t end up in a chair too), but the main reason that I say no is simply because I shouldn’t have to be carried in. It’s as easy as that. It’s 2019 people... you’ve had almost 30 years to figure your shit out. Add a ramp. Clear a threshold. Add handicap parking. Do something. 

Footnote: This doesn’t apply to my friends and family. I know that you would do anything to get me inside of your houses. I’m simply waiting until I have another chair that is much lighter and then you strapping young gents can pick my ass up all you want.

It feels weird that places have reserved areas for handicapped people. I’ve never been one to acccept help but I do understand that places reserve the spots for wheelchair users to make an event inclusive. That is why I suck it up and sit with other wheely-cool-people (excuse the pun) at the Sox games or at concerts. That being said, that fancy mezzanine you’re crowding and drinking at wasn’t made for you to have a better view of the stage or the field. It was made to give wheelchair users and whoever is with them the freedom to maneuver and relax. So if you get trashed and start dancing behind my wheelchair, I’m probably just going to floor it into your ankles to prove a point. What’s funny is that I wouldn’t even be the asshole in the situation, Dancy McGee would be. One last thing, the handicap seating in a movie theater isn’t a make out spot or a free seat for the taking. Kass and I have had to kick a lot of people out of handicap seats at AMC. Just don’t be a seat pirate and enjoy the fact that you don’t need your own section to enjoy something. That already sucks enough.

Like I said, more than likely I would be guilty of most of this if I wasn’t forced to be in a chair. I’m not trying to be a hypocrite, I’m only trying to share what I’ve experienced through all of this. 

Next week I will post a humorous list of annoyances that I physically experience daily. It will be a funny look into the life of Josh-and-chair so get ready!

God Bless!