Hands

Hands...

Think about all of the things that you do from the moment you wake up all the way up to when your head hits your pillow to retire and start again in the morning. Hands come in all different shapes and forms. The rough hands of a construction worker, the calloused hands of a power lifter, the soft nimble hands of a beautician. I was  taught by my father that a firm handshake goes a long way and can leave a lasting impression. Now what do you do if suddenly your hands don’t work?

Spinal cord injuries and spinal diseases can vary immensely. I’m not here to teach a anatomy lesson on spinal cords and nerve damage but most injuries in the C-Spine cause loss of function in the wrists and hands. The C-Spine being the cervical portion from the brain to around the shoulders. My injury was no exception. 

I haven’t opened or closed my hands in a year and a half...

I haven’t moved a individual finger in a year and a half...

Side note: I get immensely jealous when I hear someone crack their knuckles because I remember how great it feels. 

That being said, there are tricks around this. It is called a tenodesis grip. Essentially the tendons in the wrist tighten from lack of use which causes the fingers to curl. It isn’t very attractive and it continues to be an obstacle in rebuilding my self image but this curling accompanied with a raise of a wrist is an effective tool in rebuilding a hand pinch. I have this grip in my left hand which is good because I am a lefty so simple things were easier to relearn. However, because the bullet impacted the right side of my neck, my right side injury is more severe. I cannot raise my hand with my wrist which means, you guessed it, no grip. 

It makes for a uncomfortable situation when someone goes to shake my hand and get to grip a bear claw instead. Honestly, they often get more flustered than I do. I wear a splint with a fork attached to eat and I often keep my hand down to my side when I’m not eating forgetting that I am essentially wielding a weapon. What is funny is that often a waiter or waitress will walk into it and prick themselves and then apologize to me. I try to tip well after that... 

Well now you understand why my hands are always curled in pictures or in person, although I doubt that you have even noticed... It’s funny how that works isn’t it? I notice every single flaw that I have now. In a way my vanity has increased as my self image (in my head) decreased. It made for a deadly cocktail, but that time has passed. I am proud of my hands. 

I am proud of my hands because they have found a way to bypass paralysis. They support my head while I read a gripping book. They help me put on my various splints to eat, bathe, brush my teeth etc. They help me workout muscles that have grown weak from nerve damage. They help me pet my puppy and rub my girlfriends back. They curve just enough to hold my girlfriends hand. They will one day soon push me in a manual chair and one day they will open and close at will.

My message to you is to love and respect your hands. God made these tools for you to do His bidding. They are powerful and they are important. Treat them well. 

God Bless.